Short story

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. On the way up, Jack said, “Hurry up, Jill. You’re so slow…”.

“What the hell do you mean hurry up, I’m a lady and it’s my god-given right to take my time! Are you trying to say that I’m fat? Yeah i’ll have you know I am well aware of the fact that I am a bit of a heffer, and things like hills are a bit of a challenge, but you don’t have to be so blunt and mean. No, no, don’t even try to explain yourself. I’ve had enough of you Jack. GOODBYE”.

Jack: “…….”

The next day, after much huffing and puffing, Jill found Jack reading a book under a tree. “Well, what do you have to say for yourself, Jack?”
“What do you mean?”
“You know exactly what I mean. If you were a gentleman you would have sent a messenger pigeon round my house with an apology attached with a pink ribbon”
“Ribbons are expensive…God, Jill, we’re in the 17th Century, what’s wrong with you?”
“What do you mean what’s wrong with me?! I’m FINE. You’re the one who owes me an apology!”
“I have nothing to apologise for”
“You hurt my feelings!”
“I don’t really care”
“What?! HOW CAN YOU NOT?!”
“I don’t need to care, it’s not like you’re my girlfriend or anything…”


Jack “fell” down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after.