Charles

This is my gay straight gay straight gay straight gay straight BASTARD FRIEND, Charles.


I think he should always be dressed like this:




He is one of the most English people I know. And I don't care if that means anything to you.

My grandpa told my mom a story when she was little that she told me when I was little. There was once a really fat boy and he was fat because he was lazy. He would never do anything. One day, his parents had to go away for a while without him. "What is he going to eat while we are gone?", wondered his mom. "Who will wash him while we are gone?", said his dad. So after careful planning and calculation, they devised the perfect plan.

"It's genius!", said his mom.
"We've really cracked this one now!", said his dad.
"Yeee haw!", they both said. (Ok, they didn't,really. This was a Malaysian family when I heard the story, but i'm telling it now, so i'm allowed to add cowboy sound effects)

Together, they made the biggest pancake ever. When that was done, they made a hole in the middle, and hung it around the boy's neck (after it cooled, of course. Everyone knows that hot pancake + neck = bad news.)

"Son, while we are away, you eat that pancake. We've hung it around your neck, so you won't have to move if you're hungry. That should keep you going till we get back"

The boy tried to say "Ok", but because he was so fat, what came out sounded something like, "OOOMPHGUUUGHH".

Two days later, they returned to find their son starved to death where they had left him. He had only nibbled at the pancake nearest to his mouth because he was too lazy to move the rest of the pancake.

The moral of the story is, always make giant pancakes that rotate magically if you have a fat and lazy son!!